My Self-Love Journey (February Blog)
The Journey to Self-Love: Finding Myself Through Growth, Boundaries, and Celebration
I grew up in a non-traditional family dynamic—my parents split when I was born, and I never had that parental consistency that so many take for granted. My childhood was a cycle of moving between my parents and grandparents, adjusting to ever-changing rules and expectations. I was loved, no doubt—cherished even, as the firstborn daughter & granddaughter, spoiled and adored—but love and stability are not the same thing.
That lack of consistency shaped me in ways I didn’t fully understand at the time. I developed an anxious-attachment style, constantly seeking validation, always afraid of disappointing people. Boundaries? I didn’t know what those were. People-pleasing? That became my default. Instead of believing in myself, I tried to find happiness by doing what others expected of me, hoping that their approval would somehow fill the void inside me.
Learning to Love Myself
One of my biggest wake-up calls was trying to pursue dentistry right after high school in 2012—not because I wanted to, but because I thought it would make others (my parents) proud. I ended up dropping out, missing my final exam, drowning in embarrassment and shame for wasting my parents’ money on something I never truly wanted to begin with. It was a painful lesson, but one I needed to learn: living for others would never bring me joy.
Despite all my mistakes and missteps, my journey toward self-love began with a single book: Think and Grow Rich. What stood out to me the most from this book was the concept of manifestation - changed everything for me. The idea that if I could imagine the life I wanted—who I wanted to be, where I saw myself going—I could actually create it. It was a turning point.
I wanted to believe that the only way to build my confidence and self-respect was to start making choices for myself, not based on what others expected of me and I felt this deeply. Over time I put this belief into practice and I began to realize that the more I prioritized my own desires - the more I started to trust myself, my intuition, my thoughts, and my beliefs.
Because of this transformative self-discovery, I went back to college in 2015—this time for something I chose: Science Laboratory Technology. I received my diploma in 2018, proving to myself that when I set my mind to something for me, I could achieve it. Since then I also became a licenced foster parent, started my freelance makeup business, travelled the world, and found my forever partner.
Growing Beyond Comfort
While I’ve come a long way in healing my people-pleasing tendencies, my anxious-attachment still lingers in different ways. One of the biggest challenges has been my dependence on my partner of 11 years. We do everything together—eat, sleep, gym, repeat. He makes me feel safe, and in that safety, I became comfortable. But comfort isn’t always growth and I knew this dependency was something I wanted to overcome.
At the start of 2024, I took on the uncomfortable challenge of living alone for a month while house-sitting for my parents. It was terrifying. The silence, the emptiness—I hated it. But deep down, I knew I needed it. I needed to learn how to feel safe within myself, how to self-soothe, how to exist on my own. I took myself on solo dates, pursued personal projects, and slowly realized that I am capable of relying on myself emotionally. To be honest, one month of living alone is not enough time (especially if you’ve been dependent on your partner for 11 years haha), but it’s definitely enough time for you to understand that true solitude is necessary.
I’ve also learned that fear is often a sign of growth. I was afraid to start freelancing as a makeup artist because I didn’t know where to begin. But I did it anyway. And now, looking back, I see how taking that leap changed my life. Growth doesn’t come from staying comfortable—it comes from stepping into the unknown and proving to yourself that you can handle it.
Check out my Solo Diaries Series on my Instagram (click the photos)
Prioritizing Rest and Recharging
As a recovering people-pleaser, I’ve experienced burnout more times than I can count. My early twenties was a time when I felt completely drained. I was constantly on the go, juggling work, relationships, and responsibilities, thinking I could handle it all without consequence. But slowly, exhaustion crept in. I found myself emotionally reactive, physically fatigued, and mentally cluttered.
During this time, I experienced a lot of anxiety and panic attacks for the first time ever. It was like my body was in constant fight-or-flight mode, and I didn't know how to respond to it. I felt like I was constantly being pulled in so many directions, leaving my mental health last on the list. My brain always felt cluttered—my environment plays a huge role in how I feel inside, and if my space is cluttered, so is my mind. Life felt like a rollercoaster, I didn't know what my limit was, and when I passed this limit, I often took it out on people that I love the most.
I can vividly remember having intense meltdowns and because of this experience, I vow to never allow myself to get to this point ever again. This is why I advocate so heavily about taking care of yourself and prioritizing rest. Rest isn’t a reward for hard work. It’s a requirement for a sustainable, fulfilling life. If you’re feeling burnt out, I encourage you to take a step back, evaluate what’s weighing you down, and make space for the things that bring you back to yourself.
Now, a decade later, I still have a full plate—still fostering two amazing teenage boys, scaling my makeup business, creating content, designing websites, and (of course) going back to school again (Gemini tendencies amirite?). But what’s different now is that I honor my own needs. I say no when I need to. I rest without guilt. I’ve learned that it’s okay to disappoint people sometimes if it means showing up as the best version of myself when it truly matters.
Not everyone is your responsibility to fix, heal, or take care of and the people who truly love you will understand that.
Celebrating Myself—Every Step of the Way
One of the biggest shifts in my self-love journey has been learning to celebrate myself. Too often, we wait for others to validate our accomplishments. But I’ve learned that I have to be my own cheerleader.
For my 27th birthday, I did an Empowerment Photoshoot with Emmeline Guerrero. This wasn’t any ordinary portrait session, this was an Empowering Boudoir Session! I was so nervous because I’ve never thought about doing anything like this before (maybe take mirror selfies in my underwear — but never professionally, in front of photographer, who is also my friend HAHA).
What Emmeline managed to do was make me feel safe, seen, beautiful, but even more importantly —deserving of celebration. This shoot was a celebration of my life and everything I’ve done to get to this point, to become this version of myself that I’m truly and fully proud of. It felt good to peel back the layers and uncover my feminine side, to be in my own skin and love every part of who I am. I was reminded that every flaw, every curve, every scar — it’s all part of my story and that day Emmeline helped me tell it.
Every milestone, every little win—whether it’s mastering a makeup technique, booking a dream client, or simply taking a day to rest—it’s worth celebrating. Because every step forward is proof of how far I’ve come.
And that’s what I want for you, too!
Self-love isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up for yourself, making choices that honour your heart, and trusting that you are worthy—just as you are. It’s about embracing growth, setting boundaries, facing fears, prioritizing rest, and celebrating yourself every step of the way.
So, to anyone still figuring it out—you’re not alone. Your journey is unfolding exactly as it’s meant to. Trust yourself. Love yourself. And never forget—you are more than enough.
